tales of the two headed man

an entertainment publication

Sunday, February 18, 2018

DEAR MR PRESIDENT

I would like to apologise for taking up any of your time. I dont want to act as if I could advise or tell you how to do your job; I know in my heart that you are quite capable and I am confident in your abilities.
But I also know that you are a man who relies on ideas from others and I would like to offer a couple.
Nowdays one can study college level courses online; and at a pace which is comfortable to each student. Why not do away with the outmoded, cumbersome, public school system and have ALL students be educated online.
Each student would learn at their own pace and gain as much education as they personaly are equipt to absorb. each student would be educated at home which makes for a safe evirenment, and the cost savings would be enormous.
also i would like to see dueling re legalised.
this would creat a safer more polite society
as most rude or dangerous people would no longer be with us.
yours sincerly
a citisen
Posted by delray twait at 1:39 PM No comments:
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Friday, December 1, 2017

WHERE HAVE ALL THE ILLEGAL ALIENS GONE...

I LIVE IN A VILLAGE ON THE COAST OF WASHINGTON.

MY WIFE AND I MOVED HERE TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF THE JUNKIE BUMS WHO HAVE CONGREGATED IN MOST OF THE CITIES ALONG INTERSTATE 5.

YOU CAN DRIVE ALL THE WAY FROM THE MEXICAN BORDER TO THE CANADIAN BORDER AND ANY EXIT THAT YOU TAKE THERE WILL BE EITHOR: A PANHANDLER OR A CAMP.

THERE ARE BLUE TARPS EVERYWHERE; WITH UNWASHED PERSONS ROAMING THE STREETS YELLING AT EACH OTHER AND OFTEN FIGHTING BUT LET US TAKE A LOOK AT THIS LINK BEFORE I GO ON ,

NOW; I STARTED OUT IN SEATTLE WHEN I ORIGINALY MOVED HERE IN THE 1980`S. IT WAS A RELATIVELY CLEAN FRIENDLY CITY SO TO AN OUTSIDER IT SEEMED LIKE EDEN.

I WOUND UP LIVING IN BELLINGHAM BECAUSE I FOUND A BUISNESS OPORTUNITY THERE BUT I HAVE BEEN IN AN OUT OF SEATTLE FOR YEARS.

WHAT HAPPENED REALLY BEGAN  WHEN THE ECONOMY FAILED. SHORTLY AFTER OBAMA SEIZED POWER AND LOCALLY THERE WAS A SURGE OF DO-GOODERS INSPIRED TO MAKE A KINLY DIFFERENCE; MAKING SANDWICHES FOR THOSE DISPLACED BY LOSS OF INCOME ECT.

IN 2012 WASHINGTON VOTERS APROVED THE LEGALISATION OF POT; SEEMINGLY A GOOD THING; SAVE SOME LAW ENFORCEMENT MONEY AND SAVE COLKLEGE KIDS FROM HAVING A RECORD.

THUS BEGAN  A DIASPORA OF STREET PERSONS FROM AROUND THE NATION.

EVERYBODY HEARD.

EVERYBODY WANTED TO COME HERE.

IT HAS BEEN GRADUAL.

PEOPLE WITH CARS AND VANS CAME SLOWLY AS GAS CAN BE HARD TO AQUIRE BY PANHANDLING AND OTHERS HITCHHIKED.

STORIES AND RUMORS CIRCULATE ABOUT JUDGES IN OTHER CITIES AND STATE SENTANCING  HOMELESS OFFENDERS TO ONE-WAY BUS TICKETS TO SEATTLE.

THE POINT BEING A HIGH PERCENTAGE OF THE HOMELESS POPULATION ON THE WEST COAST ARE NOT FROM THE WEST COAST AT ALL BUT ARE USING HOMELESS SERVICES TO THE POINT OF OVERBURDEN. ANY INCOME THESE PEOPLE RECIEVE GOES TOWARDS DRUGS AND ALCOHOL WHILE DESERVING PERSONS DISPLACED BY THE ECONOMY AND RISING HOUSING COSTS SUFFER. ONE CAN SEE ELDERLY PERSONS PUSHING WALKERS WITH ALL THEIR BELONGINGS WHILE YOUNG ABLE BODIED MEN SHOOT UP UNDER BLUE TARPS.

AND THE PROBLEM IS MADE WORSE BY BEING A SANCUARY STATE.

ALL OF THE ILLEGALS ARE BEING HOUSED WHLE DESERVING AMERICANS CANT GET THE SAME APARTMENT BECAUSE THEIR INCOME DOES NOT COVER THE DEPOSITS OR THEIR IS A PAPERWORK REASON TO EXLUDE.

MY THEORY IS THE LOCAL POLITITIONS BEING MOSTLKY LIBERAL DEMOCRAT; WANT THE HOMELESS PROBLEM TO CONTINUE AT LEAST UNTIL THE CENSUS HAS BEEN TAKE SO THE DISTRICTS CAN BE RE-WRITTEN IN THEIR FAVOR.

THEN THE BILLIE-CLUBS WILL COME OUT.
Posted by delray twait at 6:41 PM
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Monday, September 4, 2017

ARE THEY GONNA BURN THE BOOKS???

 

ARE ANTIFA THE NEW BROWNSHIRTS?

THAT IS THE QUESTION EVERYONE WHO KNOWS HIS HISTORY SHOULD BE ASKING.
THEIR DESTRUCTIVE  BEHAVIOR

https://youtu.be/54MetzvFJHE

REMINDING US OF GERMANY IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS

https://youtu.be/L7MzARnOPCs


ANTIFA IS CLEARLY BEING FUNDED BY SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING
AND ONE WOULD HOPE THAT THOSE KIDS KNOW JUST HOW DISPOSABALE THEY REALLY ARE TO THEIR HANDLERS.

https://youtu.be/24OLOhlb-UY

ANTIFA IS SAYING THE EXACT SAME THINGS THE BROWNSHIRTS WERE SAYING IN THE 1930`S THE MAIN DIFFERENCES ARE THAT THEY SPEAK IN ENGLISH AND THEY HAVE REPLACED THE WORD JEW WITH WHITE PEOPLE.

WHICH IS BLANTANTLY RACIST.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY MAIN POINT.

THESE BLANTANTLY RACIST CHILDREN ARE CALLING ME AND 65 MILLION TRUMP VOTERS RACIST
AND DEMANDING THE REMOVAL OF HISTORIC MEMORIALS BECAUSE OF "RACISM".

WHILE COMMITING FELONIES IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM.Image may contain: 2 people, text

Image may contain: 1 person, meme and text

FREE SPEACH IS ONE THING BUT IT DOES NOT COME WITH A FREE RIDE TICKET ATTACHED; BEWARE ANTIFA CHILDREN IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU YOU CAN GO TO PRISON TOO WITH THE REST OF THE CRIMINALS!!!

https://youtu.be/wm7CspGznnE



Posted by delray twait at 5:47 PM No comments:
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Thursday, March 9, 2017

haunted history



IS THE ALAMO THE MOST HAUNTED PLACE IN THE WEST?


We have all heard the tragic 








We have all heard the tragic story of the early morning of march 6, 1836; how the brave defenders fought to the last man and inspired the world. The crumbling facade of a stone building is missing its roof and part of its second floor. A pile of stone rubble sits in the courtyard. In front of the building are a horse-drawn carriage and several people in 1850s-style clothing: women in long dresses with full skirts and men in fancy suits with top hats.
And since the battle there have been many stories of ghostly encounters in and around the old mission, stories which are attributed to the heros; but possibly the Alamo was a haunted place before those men died there.

https://youtu.be/ohD1zRPnQt8
https://youtu.be/V9W5oasVygw
https://youtu.be/dP-vPltmvDs
https://youtu.be/DlpsplkQRd0
https://youtu.be/IJMGK7RQ87U
http://amzn.to/2nnpTtK
https://join-adf.ly/16210117
https://youtu.be/K9eo26wKz8s
The Alamo was never intended to be a fort; that was not the purpose of the builders instead it was intended to shelter the priests who operated the mission and any local natives who accepted the civilizing influence of the church. The Mission San Antonio de Valero, named for St. Anthony of Padua, on the banks of the San Antonio River around 1718. because of the constant threat of attacks by Comanche and Apache war parties; They also established the nearby military garrison of San Antonio de Béxar, which soon became the center of a settlement known as San Fernando de Béxar (later renamed San Antonio). The Mission San Antonio de Valero housed missionaries and their Native American converts for some 70 years until 1793.
What remains today is very little of the actual fort; but looking at old diagrams one can see how the situation probably changed the structure and inhibited it`s intended  purpose. One would think that the stables or the blacksmith would be outbuildings but what one finds is one wall of the “fort” (long vanished) is a long row of adobe shacks with the spaces between filled with earth and rocks, and walls were placed to provide some protection at either end. This coupled with the fact that the chapel roof was never completed until fairly modern times, long after the battle would lead one to  surmise that the early residents of Bexar may have had a stressful exsistence.Image result for alamo map
That people were killed violently on the site before the Texas Revolution is certainly easy to assume. The actual fort was quite large and rumors have circulated that the courtyard was a graveyard; probably because it was safer to dig inside of the walls than out at times. And not only violent deaths but others as well; accidents, sickness childbirth, and if there was no time to bury outside the courtyard would hold them. Or the spaces between the shacks? Some estimate that possibly a thousand people all told have died on the grounds of the Alamo-before the famous battle.
It is often claimed that places where violence has occurred retain some element of the events, the ghosts if you will. I would think that if one wanted to learn to believe in ghosts, the Alamo would be the church to attend

see more at:
https://talesofthetwoheadedman.wordpress.com/2017/09/03/haunted-history/

AuthoradminPosted onMarchdit"IS THE ALAMO THE MOST HAUNTED PLACE 





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Posted by delray twait at 1:35 PM No comments:
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PT5






DUMB OLD RAY

…WORKED AT THE O.K. GAS STATION AND BEER CAVE.
https://youtu.be/o9w3kak-I1w
https://join-adf.ly/16210117

DUMB OLD RAY WAS NOT A FRIENDLY GUY AT ALL (IN FACT HE SEEMED DEEPLY TROUBLED FOR SOME REASON) AND HE MADE MOST OF THE CUSTOMERS WHO CAME INTO THE O.K. GAS STATION AND BEER CAVE NERVOUS WHILE THEY SHOPPED FOR THEIR BEER AND CIGGERETTS.
MOST OF THE CUSTOMERS AT THE O.K. GAS STATION AND BEER CAVE BELIVED WITH ALL OF THEIR HEARTS THAT DUMB OLD RAY WAS AS CRAZY AS A SHIT-HOUSE RAT.
https://youtu.be/WDpipB4yehk
WHICH MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRUE.

THERE WAS ONE NIGHT, A YEAR OR SO BEFORE THE BEGINING OF THE STORY, THAT DUMB OLD RAY SHOT AN ARMED ROBBER FULL OF HOLES, THEN WENT RIGHT BACK TO MAKING ICE BAGS UNTIL THE OAKDALE POLICE ARRIVED.
REST IN PEACE.

DUMB-ASS.


PETE JENSEN, THE OWNER OF THE O.K. GAS STATION AND BEER CAVE, LIKED HAVING DUMB OLD RAY ON THE EVENING SHIFT.
SHOPLIFTING WAS WAY DOWN, TROUBLEMAKERS STAYED AWAY, AND NOBODY EVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT PULLING A GAS AND GO WHEN DUMB OLD RAY WAS IN CHARGE.
WHEN HE FIRST CAME TO TOWN, DUMB OLD RAY WAS A HOBO WITH A SECRET PAST.


DUMB OLD RAY JUST HAPPENED TO CROSS PATHS WITH FAT TED, WHEN FAT TED WAS FEELING RATHER GREGARIOUS AND GENEROUS.
FAT TED SOLD DUMB OLD RAY A TAXI-CAB BUISNESS ON A KIND OF “FRONT YOU” KIND OF DEAL WHERE HE, FAT TED, COULD ALWAYS REPOSSESS IF THE TAXI-CAB BUISNESS DID NOT GET PAID FOR.

IT WAS ALL KIND OF A JOKE TO FAT TED (PLUS AN INSULT TO A SERIOUS INVESTOR) SELLING A GOING CONCERN TO A HOBO.

DUMB OLD RAY DEDICATED HIMSELF TO MAKING HIS TAXI-CAB BUSINESS WORK, AND WORK IT DID.
DUMB OLD RAY PAID OFF ALL TWENTY-SIX TAXI-CABS IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, AND AFTER THAT DUMB OLD RAY BECAME A RITCH YUPPY FUCK.
ALWAYS AT WORK.
ALWAYS TALKING ON A CELL PHONE.
ALWAYS IN A HURRY.

THEN STARBUCKS OPENED WHAT WAS TO BECOME, WITHOUT A DOUBT, IT`S MOST FAMOUS AND POPULAR LOCATION, AT THIRD AND OAK IN OAKDALE.
AS THERE WERE NO TRAINED BARISTTAS IN OAKDALE, STARBUCKS TRANSFERRED IN BARISTTAS FROM SEATTLE TO HELP GET THINGS ROLLING SMOOTHLY.
STARBUCKS IS WHERE DUMB OLD RAY MET SUSAN THE COFFEE GIRL.

DUMB OLD RAY AND SUSAN THE COFFEE GIRL BECAME INSTANT “BEST FRIENDS”, THAT FRIENDSHIP QUICKLY FANNED INTO FLAME, AND FROM THERE INTO A VERY HOT FIRE INDEED.
SUCH IS THE WAY WHEN TRUE-HEARTS FIND ONE ANOTHER.

DUMB OLD RAY BOUGHT A CORPORATE JET SO THAT HE AND SUSAN THE COFFE GIRL COULD FLY OFF TO EXOTIC PLACES EVERY EVENING AFTER THEY HAD GOTTEN OFF WORK.
DUMB OLD RAY AND SUSAN THE COFFEE GIRL WERE AMONG THE FIRST TO DISCOVER VENESUELA AS A TOURIST DESTINATION.

NO-BODY WOULD BELIVE THAT THEY HAD ACTUALLY BEEN INSIDE OF THE ZETA-RETICULIAN EMBASSY IN MARICABO.

ONE NIGHT, WHILE OUR LOVE-BIRDS WERE VISITING IN SEATLE, SUSAN THE COFFEE GIRL WAS RUN OVER BY AN AMBULANCE (WHICH WAS ON IT`S WAY TO A REPORTED MAGIC PIXIE DUST OVERDOSE IN AN ALLEY-A JANE DOE), AND WAS (APPARENTLY PERMANTLY) IN A VERY DEEP COMA.
DUMB OLD RAY WAS DEVASTATED

https://youtu.be/KJZLcsAmLbM

HE LAID OFF ALL OF HIS EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING HIS PILOT; PHIL; AND TOOK TO DRINKING HEAVILY.
TO FORGET.
MOSTLY, HE WAS QUITE SUCCESSFUL IN FORGETTING SUSAN, THE TAXI-CAB BUISNESS, AND HIS CORPORATE JET ALL FUELED UP AND READY OUT AT THE OAKDALE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT (WHICH HAS THE ONLY FIFTY-THOUSAND FOOT RUNWAY IN THE REGION).

ON THE EVENING FOLLOWING THE NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY MASSACRE, A HOBO CAME INTO THE O.K. GAS STATION AND BEER CAVE, FLASHED O.I.A. CREDENTIALS AT HIM, AND DUMB OLD RAY FOUND HIMSELF HANDCUFFED AND WHISKED OFF TO A WAITING BLACK WHILEY-BIRD.
THE OAKDALE INTELIGENCE AGENCY HEADQUARTERS WERE LOCATED IN THE BASEMENT OF THE PARKING STRUCTURE AT THIRD AND OAK.
THIS IS WHERE I AND MOST LOWER LEVEL O.I.A. AGENTS WORKED.

OF COURSE CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES MAINTAINED A SAFE-HOUSE SEVERAL DOORS SOUTH ON THIRD STREET, AND THIS WAS WHERE THEY TOOK DUMB OLD RAY.

CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES WANTED DUMB OLD RAY TO COME TO WORK FOR THE O.I.A. AS HE KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT DUMB OLD RAY`S SECRET PAST WHICH COULD BE USEFUL.
AFTER INTENSIVE INTEROGATION, DUMB OLD RAY`S SHOES AND SOCKS WERE REMOVED, AND A LAB TECHNITION SCRAPED A FUNGUS OFF OF HIS FEET.

THIS FUNGUS WAS WHAT CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES USED TO INFECT THE SHIPMENT OF OSTRICH SHIT.

AFTERWARD, DUMB OLD RAY WAS PLACED INTO A WINDOWLESS CELL, ON SUSPICIAN OF.
OR SOMETHING.

PETE JENSEN, OWNER OF THE O.K. GAS STATION AND BEER CAVE, FILED A MISSING PERSONS REPORT BUT NOTHING MUCH EVER CAME OF IT.

OFFICER MIKE DUGAN OF THE OAKDALE POLICE DEPARTMENT WAS OF THE OPINION THAT DUMB OLD RAY HAD FALLEN OFF OF THE WAGON AND HOPPED A FREIGHT.
STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.

SUSAN THE COFFEE GIRL WAS IN A COMA.

DUMB OLD RAY WAS IN A WINDOWLESS CELL IN AN O.I.A. SAFE-HOUSE.
THE OAKDALE POLICE WERE MYSTIFIED.

THE OAKDALE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION HAS TWENTY-THREE GALLONS OF EXPLODED ZETA-RETICULIAN, SOME SALT, AND NO CLUES IN AN ABANDONED THIMBLE WHAREHOUSE.

THE OAKDALE INTELLIGENCE AGENCY WAS PULLING ALL OF THE STRINGS.

READ ON…

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PT3

Posted by delray twait at 12:26 PM No comments:
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Wednesday, March 8, 2017

pt4






THE “B” FILES

…ARE THE SECRET DOCUMENTATION OF EVERY NEFARIOUS ACTIVITY IN WHICH THE OAKDALE INTELLIGENCE AGENCY HAS BEEN INVOLVED.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES WAS THE HEAD OF THE OAKDALE INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES WAS JUST SOOO COOL, LIKE OAKDALES` VERSION OF JAMES BOND.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES WAS JUST SOOO COOL, LIKE OAKDALES` VERSION OF JAMES BOND.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES LIKED TO SIT STAGESIDE AT THE BIG OAK STRIP JOINT AND SIP LEMON-LIME SODAS, (SHAKEN NOT STIRRED).
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES HAD BY THIS TIME, EXPERTLY MANUEVERED HIMSELF INTO HIS CURRANT POSITION BY USING THE CORRUPT POLICIES OF VARIOUS CITY OFFICIALS AGAINST THEM.
HE HAD USED HIS POWER AS HEAD OF THE OAKDALE INTELIGENCE AGENCY TO GATHER DIRT ON HIS ENEMIES, AND HAD IN FACT WEEDLED EXPANDED POWERS FOR THE O.I.B. TO MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF THE GOOD PEOPLE OF FAKE RIVER COUNTY.

CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES, HAD THE DIRT ON GLORIA JENSEN, AND HAD FORCED HER TO SIGN A NUMBER OF EXECUTIVE
ORDERS.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES NOW HAD A LICENCE TO KILL, AND THE OAKDALE INTELLIGENCE AGENCY HAD A REALLY BIG BUDGET TO SPEND ON ALL KINDS OF REALLY COOL SPY STUFF.  (AS I WAS AN EMPLOYEE OF THE O.I.A., I GOT A PREATY GOOD RAISE).

CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES HAD A REALLY COOL SECRET CODE NAME.


CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES COOL SECRET CODE NAME WAS “AGENT B”

COOL HUH?

DONT TELL ANYBODY.
IT`S A SECRET.

ANOTHER SECRET IS THAT CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES PUSHED THAT YORKSHIRE TERRIER OUT IN FRONT OF SYLVESTER LAROUCH THE FORTH`S POLICE CRUISER.
IT WAS ALL PART OF A SPECIAL OPERATION, A HIT, PART OF THE CORRUPT WAY THAT THINGS GOT DONE IN OAKDALE IN THOSE DAYS.
EVEN TODAY, I CANT SAY MUCH ABOUT THAT BUISNESS, BUT I WILL SAY THAT IT HAD STRONG CONNECTIONS TO THE DOGCATCHER SCANDLE.

THE DOGCATCHER SCANDLE PUT IT`S STINK ONTO ALMOST EVERYONE INVOLVED IN CITY BUISNESS, FORCING MANY OF THOSE SAME PEOPLE TO STAY IN POLITICS JUST TO COVER THEIR OWN ASSES PERMANATLY.
THE DOGCATCHER SCANDLE PUT IT`S STINK ONTO ALMOST EVERYONE INVOLVED IN CITY BUISNESS, FORCING MANY OF THOSE SAME PEOPLE TO STAY IN POLITICS JUST TO COVER THEIR OWN ASSES PERMANATLY.

GLORIA JENSEN HAD BECOME CONCERNED OVER REPORTS OF LATE NIGHT MANURE SHIPMENTS INTO TOWN.
SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT THE MANURE WAS NOT BEING USED FOR FERTILISER AT ALL, BUT THAT IT WAS BEING USED FOR SOME MORE NEFARIOUS PURPOSE.

THE MANURE ENFORCEMENT AGENCY WAS NO HELP AT ALL.

THE MANURE ENFORCEMENT AGENCY ONLY ENFORCED THE LAWS CONCERNING THE PROPER DISPOSALE OF, NOT THE TRANSPORTATION AND SALE OF MANURE AND OR MANURE RELATED PRODUCTS.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES HAD A LOT OF PRESSURE ON TO “PRODUCE”, AND HE HAD BEEN WORKING VERY HARD ON THIS CASE FOR DAYS.
HE HOPED TO WRAP IT UP SOON, AS HE HAD BEEN DISQUISED AS A HOBO FOR DAYS.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES MABE GOT A LITTLE SLOPPY AS HE WAS IN A HURRY TO GO HOME AND GET CLEANED UP SO THAT HE COULD GO FEEL UP HIS GIRLFRIEND; LANA JEAN MOORE.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES HAD ORDERS TO FIND ANY MANURE SMUGGLING OPERATION, AND DESTROY SAME WITH EXTREME PREDUDICE.

WITH CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES YOU COULD BE SURE THERE WOULD BE A LITTLE MALICE MIXED IN TOO.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES GOT IMPATIENT, AND THIS IMPATIENCE CAUSED HIM TO BE WAY OFF HIS GAME WHEN THE NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY MASSACRE WENT DOWN.

CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES ARRIVED AT THE OLD THIMBLE WHAREHOUSE JUST AS THE OAKDALE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS WAS SEALING OFF THE CRIME SCENE WITH THAT GOOFY YELLOW TAPE THAT THEY USE AT CRIME SCENES AND CAR WRECKS.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES KNEW, AND BELIVED WITH ALL OF HIS HEART THAT FAT TED AND THE ZETA-RETICULIANS WERE HAVING A GANGSTER WAR OVER THE OSTRICH SHIT TERRITORY, AND HE SAW A WAY TO PLAY THE SITUATION.
CHRISTIAN JEFFERIES STOLE A LOAD OF OSTRICH SHIT, AND HE HAD HIS LAB TECHNITIONS INFECT IT WITH A FUNGUS WHICH CAUSED IT TO GO RANCID BEFORE ARRIVING ON ZETA-RETICULIA.

WHICH OF COURCE, THE ZETA-RETICULIANS BLAMED ON FAT TED.






READ ON…







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mayhem men

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Posted by delray twait at 8:00 PM No comments:
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PT3

PT3



MAYHEM MEN

…WAS THE NAME OF THE LOCAL MOTERCYCLE “CLUB”.
OAKDALE WAS THE INTERNATIONAL HEADQUARTERS FOR THE MAYHEM MEN MOTERCYCLE “CLUB”.
THERE WERE SIXTEEN OTHER MEMBERS OF THE MAYHEM MEN MOTERCYCLE” CLUB”.
THERE WERE TWO IN ICELAND.
THERE WERE SIX, IN FIVE DIFFERENT CHAPTERS ON TERRA DEL FUEGO.
THERE WAS ONE ON PITCAIRN ISLAND.

AND THERE WAS MELVIN LAROUC H.
MELVIN LAROUCH WAS THE PRESIDENT AND FOUNDING FATHER OF THE MAYHEM MEN MOTERCYCLE “CLUB”, AND WAS UNDER INVESTIGATION BY THE OAKDALE POLICE ANTI-GANG UNIT.


MELVIN LAROUCH WAS THE SON OF OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK.
MELVIN LAROUCH WAS MUCH DIRTIER THAN OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK, BUT WITH MELVIN IT WAS ALL PART OF THE EVIL BIKER IMAGE.

EVERYONE ELSE WHO RODE MOTERCYCLES AROUND OAKDALE,  RODE NICE, QUIET, NON-THREATNING JAPANESE MOTERCYCLES.
NOT MELVEN LAROUCH.
YOU COULD HEAR MELVIN LAROUCH COMING FOR TWO MILES, VAROOMVAROOMPOPOPOPOPOPOBANGPOW.
TOTAL IMAGE, A BIG DIRTY EVIL LOOKING HOODLEM RIDING ON A BIG SHINEY HARLEY-DAVIDSON CHOPPER
ALL OF THE CHURCH LADIES HATED MELVIN LAROUCH, AND GOSSIPED ABOUT HIM AT THEIR BRIDGE CLUBS.
https://youtu.be/zGn_od9owp8

MELVIN LAROUCH LIVED IN A SHED IN THE ALLEY BEHIND COYOTE`S BAR AND GRILL.
THE SHED WAS FURNISHED WITH A MATTRESS, A CHAIR, AND A PILE OF EMTY BEER BOTTLES.
MELVIN LAROUCH HAD A SECRET GIRLFRIEND WHO CAME TO SEE HIM LATE AT NIGHT WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING.
MELVIN LAROUCH HAD A SECRET GIRLFRIEND WHO CAME TO SEE HIM LATE AT NIGHT WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING.
MELVIN LAROUCH`S SECRET GIRLFRIEND WAS GLORIA JENSEN, MAYOR OF OAKDALE.
BY DAY, GLORIA JENSEN WAS A SMILING, RESERVED CHURCH LADY WHO HAD BEEN ELECTED MAYOR, AND RE-ELECTED FIVE MORE TIMES BY USING NICE CHURCH LADY SLOGANS SUCH AS; OAKDALE, SMILE FOR A MILE;, OR SPEARHEADING HER “PLANT AN OAK FOR OAKDALE” INITITIVE.
BY NIGHT, WELL, GLORIA JENSEN BECAME “MADAM LEATHER” INSIDE OF MELVIN LAROUCH`S SHED IN THE ALLEY BEHIND COYOTE`S BAR AND GRILL.
WITH THE CURTAINS DRAWN.

GLORIA JENSEN CALLED THIS “STRESS RELIEF”.
MELVIN LAROUCH CALLED IT “SOMETHING ELSE, WOW”.

https://youtu.be/J1cDECkN2xg

THE OAKDALE POLICE ANTI-GANG UNIT HAD SURVEILANCE PHOTOS OF “MADAM LEATHER” AT MELVIN LAROUCH`S SHED.
THE HEAD OF THE  OAKDALE POLICE ANTI-GANG UNIT WAS DICK O`NEIL.
DICK O`NEIL PLANNED TO USE THE PHOTOGRAGHS TO BLACKMAIL GLORIA JENSEN INTO APPOINTING HIM CHEIF OF POLICE.
BUT OAKDALE IS A VERY CORRUPT PLACE, AND UNFORTANATLY DICK O`NEIL DIDNT HAVE THE PROPER CONNECTIONS IN THIS MATTER, MEANING THAT THAT THERE WERE SEVERAL PARTIES WHO WERE OFFENDED BY DICK O`NEIL`S ATTEMPT TO MOVE IN ON THEIR SET-UP, AND SO DICK O`NEIL DISSAPERRED.
BUT OAKDALE IS A VERY CORRUPT PLACE, AND UNFORTANATLY DICK O`NEIL DIDNT HAVE THE PROPER CONNECTIONS IN THIS MATTER, MEANING THAT THAT THERE WERE SEVERAL PARTIES WHO WERE OFFENDED BY DICK O`NEIL`S ATTEMPT TO MOVE IN ON THEIR SET-UP, AND SO DICK O`NEIL DISSAPERRED.
THE PERSON WHO WOUND UP WITH THE PICTURES WAS TIMMIE BINGHAM.
TIMMIE BINGHAM WAS A RESPECTED POLICE DETECTIVE, WITH A WIFE AND THREE BEUTIFUL DAUGHTERS.
AND A SECRET BOYFRIEND WHO WAS BLACKMAILING HIM.

TIMMIE BINGHAM, QUIETLY WENT TO SEE  THE HEAD OF THE OAKDALE INTELIGENCE AGENCY, OFFERING THE PHOTOGRAGHS AS CURRANCY.

FAIRY PHIL WORKED AT THE LITTLE SILVER DICK FISH CANNERY SLIMING THE LITTLE BITTY STURGEON WHICH LIVE IN THE LAKE.
FAIRY PHIL REALLY WANTED TO BE A BUTLER AND WEAR SILK SUITS AND WHITE GLOVES.
BUT NOBODY IN OAKDALE REALLY NEEDED DOMESTIC HELP, AND SO FAIRY PHIL SPENT HIS DAYS SLIMING THE PEE-WEES AND DREAMING OF SILK SUITS WHITE GLOVES AND CRUMPETS.


THERE WAS A MEXICAN GIRL NAMED TINA WHO WORKED ACROSS THE CONVEYOR BELT FROM FAIRY PHIL.
TINA THOUGHT THAT FAIRY PHIL WAS CUTE AND DIDNT UNDERSTAND THAT FAIRY PHIL WAS “LA PUTA”, AND SO BECAME SOMEWHAT ANNOYED WITH “ESTUPIDOS GINGO”.
TINY WANTED TO MARRY AN AMERICAN SO AS TO STAY IN “LOS UNITOS ESTATOS.
ONE NIGHT TINA THE MEXICAN GIRL GOT VERY DRUNK AT COYOTE`S BAR AND GRILL.
AND THAT IS HOW  TINA THE MEXICAN GIRL BECAME MRS.MELVIN LAROUCH AND THE MOTHER OF OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK JR.
MUCHO GRANDE, MUCHO MACHO.

VARROOM!!!!!!!

MELVIN LAROUCH HAD A BROTHER, SIDNEY LAROUCH.

MELVIN AND SIDNEY LAROUCH.
MELVIN AND SIDNEY LAROUCH WERE AS DIFFERENT AS TWO BROTHERS COULD BE.

SIDNEY LAROUCH GOT ALL STRAIGHT “A”S IN SCHOOL, WAS A FINE ATHLETE, WENT TO CHURCH REGULARLY, AND EVENTUALLY WENT TO ANNAPOLOUS.
SIDNEY LAROUCH SERVED IN THE MARINE CORPS AS AN F-18 FIGHTER PIOLOT,AND WAS KNOWN BY THE CALL SIGN “BUTCH” IN THE SQUADRON WHICH HE COMMANDED.
ABOUT THE TIME THAT FAT TED GOT INVOLVED IN THE SHIT SMUGGLING BUISNESS, SIDNEY LAROUCH RETIRED FROM THE MARINE CORPS IN ORDER TO TAKE CARE OF HIS FATHER, OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK.
ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER, AND A COUPLE OF WEEKS AFTER EVERYBODY LEFT FOR VENSUELA, MELVIN LAROUCH KICKED SIDNEY LAROUCH`S ASS.
MELVIN LAROUCH, GROWING UP, WAS ABOUT AS BAD AS HE COULD BE.
HE SKIPPED SCHOOL REGULARLY.
HE STOLE FROM THE OFFERING PLATE AT CHURCH.
HE BEAT UP THE SCHOOL PRICIPLE`S SONS, ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER.
HE EVEN BLEW UP THE SWING SET AT THE JESSICA NELSON MEMORIAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
WHEN HE WAS A BOY, MELVIN LAROUCH HAD SEEN THE MOVIE “REBEL AGAIST EVERYTHING” ONE SATERDAY AFTERNOON ON TELEVISION, AND EVER SINCE HAD TRIED TO EMULATE THE MOVIES` MAIN CHARACTER; CHESTER DUNEGAN
BUT AT THE END OF THE MOVIE, THE POLICE SHOOT CHESTER DUNEGAN FULL OF HOLES.
DEEP DOWN IN HIS HEART, MELVIN LAROUCH DIDNT REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT FULL OF HOLES, NO SIR, NOT ONE BIT.
THE OAKDALE POLICE DIDNT REALLY WANT TO SHOOT MELVIN LAROUCH FULL OF HOLES EITHOR.
THE OAKDALE POLICE WANTED TO SEND MELVIN LAROUCH TO THE COUNTY PENETENTIARY FOR A LONG STRETCH SO THAT THEY WOULD ALL GET RAISES.
IF THEY SHOT MELVIN LAROUCH FULL OF HOLES, THERE MIGHT BE AN INVESTIGATION.
IF THEY SHOT MELVIN LAROUCH FULL OF HOLES, THERE MIGHT BE AN INVESTIGATION.
NOBODY WHO GETS INVESTIGATED GETS A RAISE.

MELVIN LAROUCH DID PIECE WORK FOR FAT TED, ONE OF THE FEW “FREE-LANCERS” THAT FAT TED DEALT WITH AT ALL.
MELVIN LAROUCH AND FAT TED ARE COUSINS AND HAVE KNOW EACH OTHER SINCE THEY WERE KIDS.
 https://youtu.be/tdZC7QEi2eo
AFTER KATY WAS BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS INSIDE OF FAT TED`S HIDE-OUT, FAT TED SENT LARRY “THE BODYGUARD”” JEFFERIES, SMOKIN` JOE, AND MELVIN LAROUCH (DISQUISED AS OSTRICH FARMERS) TO THE ZETA-RETICULIANS SECRET HIDE-OUT INSIDE OF THE OLD THIMBLE WHAREHOUSE AT THIRD AND OAK.
AFTER KATY WAS BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS INSIDE OF FAT TED`S HIDE-OUT, FAT TED SENT LARRY “THE BODYGUARD”” JEFFERIES, SMOKIN` JOE, AND MELVIN LAROUCH (DISQUISED AS OSTRICH FARMERS) TO THE ZETA-RETICULIANS SECRET HIDE-OUT INSIDE OF THE OLD THIMBLE WHAREHOUSE AT THIRD AND OAK.
USING SPECIALY MODIFIED DRIVE-WAY SALTERS, THE THREE HOODLEMS BLASTED EVERY SINGLE ZETA-RETICULIAN RACKETEER TO KINGDOM COME.
IT WAS A SLIME BATH.
THERE WERE EXPLODED ZETA-RETICULIANS EVERYWHERE, AND THE PRESS DUBBED IT “THE NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY MASSACRE”, IT BEING NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY AND ALL.

THIS WAS BY ACCIDENT, AS FAT TED`S CALENDER DIDNT LIST  “THE NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY” AT ALL.

IT ONLY LISTED THE QUARTER  MOON.
AND ANYWAY, FAT TED HAD AN ALIBI.


READ ON…

Posted by delray twait at 8:33 AM No comments:
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