PT3

PT3

MAYHEM MEN

…WAS THE NAME OF THE LOCAL MOTERCYCLE “CLUB”.

OAKDALE WAS THE INTERNATIONAL HEADQUARTERS FOR THE MAYHEM MEN MOTERCYCLE “CLUB”.

THERE WERE SIXTEEN OTHER MEMBERS OF THE MAYHEM MEN MOTERCYCLE” CLUB”.

THERE WERE TWO IN ICELAND.

THERE WERE SIX, IN FIVE DIFFERENT CHAPTERS ON TERRA DEL FUEGO.

THERE WAS ONE ON PITCAIRN ISLAND.

AND THERE WAS MELVIN LAROUC H.

MELVIN LAROUCH WAS THE PRESIDENT AND FOUNDING FATHER OF THE MAYHEM MEN MOTERCYCLE “CLUB”, AND WAS UNDER INVESTIGATION BY THE OAKDALE POLICE ANTI-GANG UNIT.

MELVIN LAROUCH WAS THE SON OF OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK.

MELVIN LAROUCH WAS MUCH DIRTIER THAN OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK, BUT WITH MELVIN IT WAS ALL PART OF THE EVIL BIKER IMAGE.

EVERYONE ELSE WHO RODE MOTERCYCLES AROUND OAKDALE,  RODE NICE, QUIET, NON-THREATNING JAPANESE MOTERCYCLES.

NOT MELVEN LAROUCH.

YOU COULD HEAR MELVIN LAROUCH COMING FOR TWO MILES, VAROOMVAROOMPOPOPOPOPOPOBANGPOW.

TOTAL IMAGE, A BIG DIRTY EVIL LOOKING HOODLEM RIDING ON A BIG SHINEY HARLEY-DAVIDSON CHOPPER

ALL OF THE CHURCH LADIES HATED MELVIN LAROUCH, AND GOSSIPED ABOUT HIM AT THEIR BRIDGE CLUBS.

https://youtu.be/zGn_od9owp8

MELVIN LAROUCH LIVED IN A SHED IN THE ALLEY BEHIND COYOTE`S BAR AND GRILL.

THE SHED WAS FURNISHED WITH A MATTRESS, A CHAIR, AND A PILE OF EMTY BEER BOTTLES.

MELVIN LAROUCH HAD A SECRET GIRLFRIEND WHO CAME TO SEE HIM LATE AT NIGHT WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING.

MELVIN LAROUCH HAD A SECRET GIRLFRIEND WHO CAME TO SEE HIM LATE AT NIGHT WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING.

MELVIN LAROUCH`S SECRET GIRLFRIEND WAS GLORIA JENSEN, MAYOR OF OAKDALE.

BY DAY, GLORIA JENSEN WAS A SMILING, RESERVED CHURCH LADY WHO HAD BEEN ELECTED MAYOR, AND RE-ELECTED FIVE MORE TIMES BY USING NICE CHURCH LADY SLOGANS SUCH AS; OAKDALE, SMILE FOR A MILE;, OR SPEARHEADING HER “PLANT AN OAK FOR OAKDALE” INITITIVE.

BY NIGHT, WELL, GLORIA JENSEN BECAME “MADAM LEATHER” INSIDE OF MELVIN LAROUCH`S SHED IN THE ALLEY BEHIND COYOTE`S BAR AND GRILL.

WITH THE CURTAINS DRAWN.

GLORIA JENSEN CALLED THIS “STRESS RELIEF”.

MELVIN LAROUCH CALLED IT “SOMETHING ELSE, WOW”.

https://youtu.be/J1cDECkN2xg

THE OAKDALE POLICE ANTI-GANG UNIT HAD SURVEILANCE PHOTOS OF “MADAM LEATHER” AT MELVIN LAROUCH`S SHED.

THE HEAD OF THE  OAKDALE POLICE ANTI-GANG UNIT WAS DICK O`NEIL.

DICK O`NEIL PLANNED TO USE THE PHOTOGRAGHS TO BLACKMAIL GLORIA JENSEN INTO APPOINTING HIM CHEIF OF POLICE.

BUT OAKDALE IS A VERY CORRUPT PLACE, AND UNFORTANATLY DICK O`NEIL DIDNT HAVE THE PROPER CONNECTIONS IN THIS MATTER, MEANING THAT THAT THERE WERE SEVERAL PARTIES WHO WERE OFFENDED BY DICK O`NEIL`S ATTEMPT TO MOVE IN ON THEIR SET-UP, AND SO DICK O`NEIL DISSAPERRED.

BUT OAKDALE IS A VERY CORRUPT PLACE, AND UNFORTANATLY DICK O`NEIL DIDNT HAVE THE PROPER CONNECTIONS IN THIS MATTER, MEANING THAT THAT THERE WERE SEVERAL PARTIES WHO WERE OFFENDED BY DICK O`NEIL`S ATTEMPT TO MOVE IN ON THEIR SET-UP, AND SO DICK O`NEIL DISSAPERRED.

THE PERSON WHO WOUND UP WITH THE PICTURES WAS TIMMIE BINGHAM.

TIMMIE BINGHAM WAS A RESPECTED POLICE DETECTIVE, WITH A WIFE AND THREE BEUTIFUL DAUGHTERS.

AND A SECRET BOYFRIEND WHO WAS BLACKMAILING HIM.

TIMMIE BINGHAM, QUIETLY WENT TO SEE  THE HEAD OF THE OAKDALE INTELIGENCE AGENCY, OFFERING THE PHOTOGRAGHS AS CURRANCY.

FAIRY PHIL WORKED AT THE LITTLE SILVER DICK FISH CANNERY SLIMING THE LITTLE BITTY STURGEON WHICH LIVE IN THE LAKE.

FAIRY PHIL REALLY WANTED TO BE A BUTLER AND WEAR SILK SUITS AND WHITE GLOVES.

BUT NOBODY IN OAKDALE REALLY NEEDED DOMESTIC HELP, AND SO FAIRY PHIL SPENT HIS DAYS SLIMING THE PEE-WEES AND DREAMING OF SILK SUITS WHITE GLOVES AND CRUMPETS.

THERE WAS A MEXICAN GIRL NAMED TINA WHO WORKED ACROSS THE CONVEYOR BELT FROM FAIRY PHIL.

TINA THOUGHT THAT FAIRY PHIL WAS CUTE AND DIDNT UNDERSTAND THAT FAIRY PHIL WAS “LA PUTA”, AND SO BECAME SOMEWHAT ANNOYED WITH “ESTUPIDOS GINGO”.

TINY WANTED TO MARRY AN AMERICAN SO AS TO STAY IN “LOS UNITOS ESTATOS.

ONE NIGHT TINA THE MEXICAN GIRL GOT VERY DRUNK AT COYOTE`S BAR AND GRILL.

AND THAT IS HOW  TINA THE MEXICAN GIRL BECAME MRS.MELVIN LAROUCH AND THE MOTHER OF OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK JR.

MUCHO GRANDE, MUCHO MACHO.

VARROOM!!!!!!!

MELVIN LAROUCH HAD A BROTHER, SIDNEY LAROUCH.

MELVIN AND SIDNEY LAROUCH.

MELVIN AND SIDNEY LAROUCH WERE AS DIFFERENT AS TWO BROTHERS COULD BE.

SIDNEY LAROUCH GOT ALL STRAIGHT “A”S IN SCHOOL, WAS A FINE ATHLETE, WENT TO CHURCH REGULARLY, AND EVENTUALLY WENT TO ANNAPOLOUS.

SIDNEY LAROUCH SERVED IN THE MARINE CORPS AS AN F-18 FIGHTER PIOLOT,AND WAS KNOWN BY THE CALL SIGN “BUTCH” IN THE SQUADRON WHICH HE COMMANDED.

ABOUT THE TIME THAT FAT TED GOT INVOLVED IN THE SHIT SMUGGLING BUISNESS, SIDNEY LAROUCH RETIRED FROM THE MARINE CORPS IN ORDER TO TAKE CARE OF HIS FATHER, OLD SMOKEY THE DRUNK.

ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER, AND A COUPLE OF WEEKS AFTER EVERYBODY LEFT FOR VENSUELA, MELVIN LAROUCH KICKED SIDNEY LAROUCH`S ASS.

MELVIN LAROUCH, GROWING UP, WAS ABOUT AS BAD AS HE COULD BE.

HE SKIPPED SCHOOL REGULARLY.

HE STOLE FROM THE OFFERING PLATE AT CHURCH.

HE BEAT UP THE SCHOOL PRICIPLE`S SONS, ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER.

HE EVEN BLEW UP THE SWING SET AT THE JESSICA NELSON MEMORIAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

WHEN HE WAS A BOY, MELVIN LAROUCH HAD SEEN THE MOVIE “REBEL AGAIST EVERYTHING” ONE SATERDAY AFTERNOON ON TELEVISION, AND EVER SINCE HAD TRIED TO EMULATE THE MOVIES` MAIN CHARACTER; CHESTER DUNEGAN

BUT AT THE END OF THE MOVIE, THE POLICE SHOOT CHESTER DUNEGAN FULL OF HOLES.

DEEP DOWN IN HIS HEART, MELVIN LAROUCH DIDNT REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT FULL OF HOLES, NO SIR, NOT ONE BIT.

THE OAKDALE POLICE DIDNT REALLY WANT TO SHOOT MELVIN LAROUCH FULL OF HOLES EITHOR.

THE OAKDALE POLICE WANTED TO SEND MELVIN LAROUCH TO THE COUNTY PENETENTIARY FOR A LONG STRETCH SO THAT THEY WOULD ALL GET RAISES.

IF THEY SHOT MELVIN LAROUCH FULL OF HOLES, THERE MIGHT BE AN INVESTIGATION.

IF THEY SHOT MELVIN LAROUCH FULL OF HOLES, THERE MIGHT BE AN INVESTIGATION.

NOBODY WHO GETS INVESTIGATED GETS A RAISE.

MELVIN LAROUCH DID PIECE WORK FOR FAT TED, ONE OF THE FEW “FREE-LANCERS” THAT FAT TED DEALT WITH AT ALL.

MELVIN LAROUCH AND FAT TED ARE COUSINS AND HAVE KNOW EACH OTHER SINCE THEY WERE KIDS.

 https://youtu.be/tdZC7QEi2eo

AFTER KATY WAS BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS INSIDE OF FAT TED`S HIDE-OUT, FAT TED SENT LARRY “THE BODYGUARD”” JEFFERIES, SMOKIN` JOE, AND MELVIN LAROUCH (DISQUISED AS OSTRICH FARMERS) TO THE ZETA-RETICULIANS SECRET HIDE-OUT INSIDE OF THE OLD THIMBLE WHAREHOUSE AT THIRD AND OAK.

AFTER KATY WAS BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS INSIDE OF FAT TED`S HIDE-OUT, FAT TED SENT LARRY “THE BODYGUARD”” JEFFERIES, SMOKIN` JOE, AND MELVIN LAROUCH (DISQUISED AS OSTRICH FARMERS) TO THE ZETA-RETICULIANS SECRET HIDE-OUT INSIDE OF THE OLD THIMBLE WHAREHOUSE AT THIRD AND OAK.

USING SPECIALY MODIFIED DRIVE-WAY SALTERS, THE THREE HOODLEMS BLASTED EVERY SINGLE ZETA-RETICULIAN RACKETEER TO KINGDOM COME.

IT WAS A SLIME BATH.

THERE WERE EXPLODED ZETA-RETICULIANS EVERYWHERE, AND THE PRESS DUBBED IT “THE NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY MASSACRE”, IT BEING NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY AND ALL.

THIS WAS BY ACCIDENT, AS FAT TED`S CALENDER DIDNT LIST  “THE NATIONAL ATHLETE`S FOOT DAY” AT ALL.

IT ONLY LISTED THE QUARTER  MOON.

AND ANYWAY, FAT TED HAD AN ALIBI.

READ ON…